She wasn’t early she wasn’t late she was right on time, Ms. Cynthia Farnock to my little bachelor basement I had borrowed from a friend, lined with television sets all tuned to disparate live broadcasts from all over the world. I sat there, smoking a joint, Cynthia joining me on the seat and saying, involuntarily “Oh God” as in “Oh God deliver me from the madness I am about to witness” or “Oh God, I don’t think I can see the world in the same way again, least of all my work” because in one weird sense, all of the broadcasters had a similar referential focus to the point one even said “Aaron you have to stop this” because things were getting out of control and I was doing cocaine and Cynthia said what the fuck are you doing here my friend and I said, see, do you believe me that you can see into the television in the same way the television can see into your room? It all depends on where you are and so…
You are an epicenter of focus, I will grant you that.
That’s a very big something to grant I said without rancor. I’ve been waiting a while for someone in the news media to grant me that supposition of discernment, should it be warranted, that is.
Oh I say you are discerning alright. So what does this have to do with the price of tea in China or as you put it “a public service massacre” that’s a pretty strong title to affix to anything, are you sure you aren’t on drugs?
I’m not on drugs in that sense (whoops, did I just weaken my argument, this as a tentative aside), I know what I saw. Why are you so defensive?
Because I work with the people that would have seen what you are describing and if this is true, this technological glitch or bug, than the broadcast media itself is a story as to why they weren’t informing the public sooner. That’s one story you are chasing here. Another is the massacre angle which I want to discuss further. Still another is your own identity in this and your speculation as to the provenance of these sorts of conditions where people were murdered in cold blood in relatively public settings, how do you account for no one saying anything about it?
Conspiracy of manners and this stuff makes the news all the time, just not with the requisite tags on it to actually denote the truth of where it originated at least in the cult sensibility or cult slavery such as it has become that for some people. Do you doubt the existence of the cult then?
Oh there are many cults she said. Many cults and many people doing many things to one another. What makes this special to you?
I’m at the center of it.
Do you doubt that?
It’s a pretty complex thing, isn’t it she said gently, looking into my eyes and then looking away as my stomach set into a cascade of twinges and fear and doubt and yearning and wishing it was different and then she touched my hand gently and went out of the room for a long moment, long enough I thought she was gone.