Television Mingles with Reality (again)

In a rare move, Maria Torres left her niece bodyguards at home with me (the two-in-one ladygirl Evita and Estella Morales), chilling on one of the docks out behind the mansion (the front is impressive crags and tall grown trees with a float plane tied up to the dock as well, not sure what it’s there for, in case we need it I suppose), naked except for the towels, the nieces assuming a more leisurely posture towards their form as sometimes they are just one, sometimes they are two like now, two ladygirls standing by while I soak in some rays. I think that people are always trying to murder other people, Evita said. It’s the question of how organized they are about it and their track record. If someone has murdered a bunch of other people and you know about it, you can take their word that they will murder you too. If they haven’t murdered a bunch of people or worse if you don’t know whether they have or not, you still kind of have to take them a their word until you know conclusively that they are too weak in order to carry out their desired wish, and even then, a derringer in the hands of a weakling could slay any man at ten yards, no question.

There are going to be people who want to murder you that also are going to be staying here this weekend. Your job is to figure out the sentiment and try to divert it and disrupt it away from consensus killing and towards your own stated platform. Evita nodded towards the horizon. They are coming on boats in a while. When someone needs to leave, we will make sure they go. Everyone else that needs to stay, will stay. You can’t tell anyone to go necessarily without input from us but you can necessarily do what you think is proper. You do have summoning powers but you can’t tell anyone to go home, not right away anyway. Not until we see what these people are made of. And yes, some of them will want to kill you. Even if they love you. You have to tell the difference between that and everything else, and also, the notion that just because you think you are one of the girls, you are also a man and that means they look at you like a man that they might want to either feast on or kill, or both, not together sure how women process things when they aren’t in heat or in the grips of some animus or another. Evita shrugged and adjusted her top, giving me a glimpse of a pert breast that she then proffered for me to fondle.

I get along with Maria’s bodyguards and yes, we fool around too. I don’t have exploitative sexual relationships with the women demons even if they seem to ride me as much as they possibly can, averring to the refractory cycle that animates my ability to respond. Estella lowered herself onto me and then draped her warm demonic body all over me, followed by Evita, telling me to get wet and letting me lick their assholes on the ladder as I liked to do when it was just the three of us. How is it protecting Maria these days?

We are protecting you now, Maria is of you, they said almost in unison, looking at me protectively as if I didn’t know. You have to remember who you are in this otherwise you are going to succumb to the victim mindset that even the most helpful woman is used to occupying. Women are in that from the day they are born, they are targets and not many escape that sort of repression that tells them they have to look a certain way (to please men), act a certain way (to please men) and please men in a certain way (to keep their spot). So, expect a certain amount of digression and confusion among the ladies that come here, we might not keep any of them. If they are allowed to stay that means we want to know more. There are three to five cut-offs and they can voluntarily leave if they have other things to do although we caution that we pay well and you don’t want to turn this down necessarily speaking, if you don’t have to.

Call me Mike Bloomberg I said and Evita gave me a look. Estella smiled congenially. In a way yes, you are throwing money at things in order to get quick results. We don’t have Iphones as far as the I can see and we aren’t mailing laptops to people just for the hell of it or because we think they would be a good addition and then the candidacy folds because it was only designed to prevent one other person anyway. Can you imagine being in that party? I would want to pull out my hair in frustration at that. Someone got into the race to prevent “big structural change” and of course, it worked.

That’s what we are after here but not in so many words I said softly as both nieces cuddled with me on the dock, the clouds having moved in over the sun and a faint chill coming up off the lake. I was resolved to go upstairs to get my blazer because it was chilly when we heard the buzz of the boats. I was about to get up and greet them but Evita and Estella held me fast, pinning me so I could look out on the water with two women pinning me down, the boat passing full of women tourists with sunglasses and big hats and shouted queries and half-heard replies and they are going to the island next to us and something tells me we are going to be seeing each other fairly soon. Indeed, it was within the next two hours that a delegation came by and it looked like something disastrous had happened at their rental property, could the group of women (and this was irony, I recognized a couple of them from the television), possibly shelter here for an afternoon, possibly overnight until the sewage situation was contained and the workmen could get things done?

Their group leader was a woman named Olive, mid-40’s, wearing a straw sunhat and bikini and looking positively nonplussed. I am so sorry she said when she saw me. I can’t believe this is happening. I am not from the area and we booked in advance like six months ago. Turns out there was an accident in the sewage department and now it’s all backed up and unusable, same with the water. We are going to have to do some salvage there I’m afraid and in the meantime, we are stuck out here with our boats and nowhere to go. Can you help us just for the night? I’m with some famous people you know, they might make it worth your while when we get back to sure.

I, um, sure that would be fine. I’m kind of expecting some people here in a bit but…I can give you the full upstairs for yourselves so you have some privacy.

That is so wonderful she crowed (as if there was any other outcome that could happen), kissing me daintily on the cheek as her flock of beleaguered women (along with Evita and Estella wearing big grins), humped their duffel bags and portmeanteau up the steps and into the mansion with it’s elevator and seamless set of stairs in case you were feeling energetic. Once they were safely ensconced I wiped the sweat from my brow and tried not to cry. This was going to be interesting, especially because my party had arrived and were quietly arrayed down at the dock as the unexpected arrivals had occupied the three of us and kept us from greeting our actual visitors from afar. It turns out everyone is from Toronto, someone from our party works out at the same gym as one of the ladies (whom I have seen on television a few times, more on that later) and so there was little ice to break, just cocktails and some cocaine (ahem!) and everyone was in good spirits and ready to relax. Which is what we wanted. I’m the only one that wants to do any work and what work is that, policy? That can wait till the morning or at least, later tonight honey.

You can’t rush women sometimes, and this was one of those times. So I just accepted it and got bombed with the demons by the pool while everyone else had a blast running around the mansion (which we weren’t supposed to do) and otherwise being loud to release the stress of the (long) commute from Toronto, seeing as how it went thru Thunder Bay and then a (much) smaller airport and then by car and then by boat and now here we are my this blow is super good, where did it come from?

Ask Carlos that I said and their brows furrowed and they went away, almost as if I had barked at them. Still, 20 minutes later they were chatting with Carlos by the pool, his sunglasses down, clearly enjoying being hit on by two famous television personalities that he couldn’t quite place even as everyone said “no personal media please, no personal media please” and we unplugged every television and CPU on the island and still had the feeling like we were being watched.

Must be something internal, within the group.

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